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Compassion for the suffering of others is one of the most influential and yet one of the most fragile actions we can undertake in this life of possibilities. This is why training in the ability to live with our own pain, to feel compassion for someone else, and to comfort the suffering are skill sets sorely needed in the world. While compassion is often defined as a quality of the heart, Stankov highlights the importance of the nervous system in channeling these emotions in another. Indeed, we do not feel emotional pain internally, but in the nervous system, which connects to the brain and reflects the emotional state of the body.

Most of you will have already heard that Buddha held that suffering in life comes from seeing one's own likes and desires as immutable. But this is just the point. If you see that your likes and dislikes are not really fixed, then you can expend less energy trying to uphold them. We can learn to see things as multiple, as in a conversation with a friend, for example, with facets, each with its own possibilities, so that we are able to choose which suit our aims